i've been having some really vivid dreams lately, but they're not even weird enough to write down so much. i've been dreaming things like i'm talking to my friend susan on aim. right. yeah. exciting stuff!

last night i had another dream about susan. we were staying in a hotel with our moms. we were right down the hall from each other. i think there might have been some sort of convention or something going on. susan had gone shopping and called me from the mall she was at. she asked me a question and i said, "i dunno." then she said we obviously didn't like each other anymore, and we shouldn't be friends. i said that may be how she felt, but i certainly didn't feel that way at all. then i hung up. she came to my room later where i was playing video games. we yelled at each other. and then we weren't friends. that really made me sad.

i think i had that dream because of the events that happened last night. so stressful. she sure does put up with a lot of shit from me. =(

ok. i'm just going to paste the log of me telling my friend josh about the nightmare i had last night. i can't be arsed to type it out appropriately. here it is:

(nefas) i had a horrible nightmare last night.
(syn) about what
(nefas) there was this boy.. i dunno who he was supposed to be, but he had dark hair and pale skin
(nefas) there were two girls with him. one might have been his sister.
(nefas) they were either across the circle from me or down the street
(nefas) the boy hated me and wanted me to die
(nefas) i was all by myself in the house
(nefas) and they were making this plan to kill me
(syn) heh
(nefas) with knives
(nefas) and i sort of knew about it, but i kept thinking they wouldn't really
(nefas) he said i had lied to him and broken his heart or something
(nefas) but then it was like i'd talked to him once during some sort of game, and he thought that meant we were dating
(nefas) i don't know
(nefas) they got into my house
(nefas) and they were trying to find me
(nefas) and then i got my dad's gun
(nefas) and i shot them
(nefas) then it skipped to something weird
(nefas) we were outside
(nefas) and there was some sort of big concrete pit in the ground
(nefas) that had a pipe in the bottom
(nefas) and you went through this sort of long hole in the side, and there was water down in there
(nefas) and there were bones of things
(nefas) maybe of people
(nefas) there was a baby's torso
(nefas) no arms or legs or head
(nefas) there was no skin on it
(nefas) and the ribs were split apart
(nefas) and it started talking to me
(nefas) i don't remember what it said
(nefas) i was looking for something
(nefas) and hiding, too
(nefas) and that's all i remember. =(
(syn) heh
(syn) you are a very disturbed person little one

it was night time and i was in the woods. someone was trying to kill me, but i guess i didn't know who it was. there were some people there trying to protect me, but i was suspicious of some of them i think. we hid. we ran. i think a ferocious debate happened.

the only thing other than that that i remember is that porky pig ended up being the bad guy, and he got beheaded with a guillotine.

i had this dream a little while ago about my friend josh. i don't remember all of what happened. i do remember he was flying a plane, though. for some reason, this provides an endless source of amusement for him. he'll bring it up every now and then and start laughing.

he sucks.

my dreams haven't been very coherent. i had one last night about a lot of things. i remember hugging someone. my head was against his chest, and i was listening to his heartbeat. he was petting my hair. i felt very safe. i think we were in a desert, but i'm not sure.

i want someone to hug like that. =(

i had a late night last night. i took a nap today and had the most awful dream about my friend brock. i'm not entirely sure why. i need to email him tomorrow. i'm too tired to do a good job of it tonight.

we were in some building that i've never been in before. it was huge. there was some sort of convention or something going on. people were walking all over the place. i saw my friend brock, and i ran up to say hi to him. he barely paid attention to me and pointed behind him. i realized that i'd mistaken his twin brother brent for him (they look very similar but not at all close enough alike to mistake them for each other). brock had cut all of his hair off. his eyes were rimmed with red. he'd been doing a lot of drugs. i was so upset by this. he was being mean to me, and generally rude to most people. finally, i told him he was hurting my feelings, and i could tell he felt bad.. but he liked the drugs too much. then i woke up.

it doesn't sound so bad, but it really was. i was so hurt and upset when i woke up. i still am. the thing is, brock is fine. i hate dreams that do that.

last night i had a bunch of strange dreams. someone was holding on to me. i know it was a man, and he had me in a bear hug from behind. he wouldn't let me go. i wasn't afraid of him, though. i think he was protecting me. i kept pointed and saying something, but i don't know what it was. then everything was blue, and i was looking for a different color. so wolfie told me that my crayons were missing, and he couldn't give me his because they were over there. i didn't need crayons because the clouds were rolling in and bringing the colors back. right.

last night i slept a bit. it was nice. i had a dream in which i was trying to get somewhere. it was very important. there was a door with no handle, and i couldn't figure out how i was supposed to open it. i knocked, i kicked, i yelled, and i tried to pry it open. none of that worked. this was all happening in the rainforest that i was in when i was in the yucutan. i never got anywhere, so i finally woke up. *sigh*

i really wanted to get through that door.