it started out with me being on the US olympic diving team. it looked nothing like the olympics. i was doing a simple back dive, and four of us would go at a time from four different diving boards set up along the pool. it looked like the old aquatic center (sort of) that i used to go to. i was doing fairly well, but not perfectly. then one girl went that was all by herself. she was from some tiny never-heard-of country. she did the most amazing dive ever. right after her, two middle-eastern men did some sort of weird floating-on-their backs sort of performance art thingy, and then they got attacked by some rabid jerks, and we ran over there to try to help them, but there was a giant swan in our way.

then there was an advertisement for "the ancient history" collection at jcpenney. yeah, i don't know. it was some sort of figurines including dragons, buddahs, and some kind of hilly thing that in my dream was very western pre-christian spiritual.

then, i and two other teachers (both male) had taken a group of children (9th and 10th graders, i think) to some sort of jungley area for various kind of culture studies. the children got very into some sort of uber-post-apocalyptic-back-to-primitive-monkey-behavior thing and took over. it was very lord of the flies. the two other teachers and i managed to stay away from them. they were looking for us because they believed we were trying to brainwash them and turn them into something other than what they were (the reason for the devolution). of course, this was entirely imaginary on their part. we had locked ourselves into some sort of room with a gps and a satellite phone and were trying to call home, but the children found us. there was another child (a girl) with us that had been helping us. they knocked the two men out and started dragging them out and sprayed something into the girl's and my faces that made it difficult to move, though we were still conscious.

then they dragged us out. they had erected some sort of weird wooden thing. part of it had been dug into an underground basement-like area. then i saw what they were doing. the two male teachers had somehow become sort of brainwashed slaves to the children. they were wearing weird little grass underwear type things. very kitschy 60s tv cavemen type stuff. they had decided they needed to burn me as a sacrifice to something. i started screaming. i can still hear my dream screams in my mind. they sound nothing like my real screams. i was struggling, but it was hard to get away. the smoke from the pyre had mixed with something else in the air, and i saw this monstrous tornado coming. through the haze, i saw what really looked like the burnt-out shell of one of the twin towers through the haze, and my dream self wondered at this since we had been in the middle of the jungle. then the ghost tower was gone again. the tornado caught the attention of the children. they started to panic, and i managed to get away. i crawled down into the slightly burning (the wind had blown fire from the pyre onto it) shelter/basement area. i was hiding. then one of the little girls was running down there saying "help me!" over and over again. i was trying to put out the fire without getting sucked out by the tornado. the last thing i remember is her telling me i was cruel.

then my alarm went off, and i woke up.

i've been having a lot of bad dreams lately that i think are real. most of the time, once i'm fully awake, i can logically realize that it didn't really happen. sometimes, not so much.

the most vivid example of the latter part of this was a dream i had a couple of nights ago. i heard my parents yelling at each other, and it sounded like they were yelling at me. i looked at the clock. it was 5am. i got out of bed to listen, but everything was quiet. i went out into the hall. everything was quiet. i finally went back to bed.

i felt uncomfortable all of the next day thinking that i had somehow caused a fight. finally, i asked my mom if she and dad had an argument around 5am. she looked at me all confused and said, "no?" and i said, "oh, i guess it was a dream. i thought i heard you yelling, and it woke me up." she laughed and said maybe i heard her yelling at the cat around 7:30am. i told her no, that i heard that, too. it also woke me up. but this wasn't that.

weird stuff.

manchmal fühle ich mich als ob ich nicht ich selbst wäre, und manchmal sind das schöne zeiten. manchmal nicht so sehr. aber wen interessierts?!

im moment bin ich ziemlich glücklich, nervös, aber glücklich. i kann nicht genau sagen wieso ich nervös bin. ich könnte es erklären, in vagen bezeichnungen, aber ich will nicht. roll das in deinen voyeurismus und rauch es!

ausserdem habe ich noch eine spassige beleidigung gelernt, die ich die ganze zeit benutze: "stinkige fotze".

und mein bauchnabel riecht nach käsekuchen. *kicher*

ben and alice were having a baby. she was very pregnant. we went to the hospital, and i guess i was her nurse or something. there was something very wrong with the baby. i realized it was actually a demon, but they still wanted to have it. i knew it was so evil that it might kill alice being born, but they didn't want to listen to me.

ramona and austin were there and had just had their baby. it was beautiful, but growing really quickly. it was already crawling around (being newborn that night), and it crawled over to me and told me not to worry so much.

i don't remember anything else.