it was the end times, i think. there was mass destruction of the world by fire, flood, and earthquake. there were still a lot of people, most of which had gathered in certain broken urban areas. the people were split, though. there was a man. we were split on whether he was christ or antichrist. it was not as holy as in the bible. he was a man with power. that's all we knew. i was part of an underground rebel group that thought he was antichrist. he would kill people. he would have them hanged in front of everyone else. that had to be antichrist, right?
at some point, some friends and i were in some sort of abandoned department store. i was trying to find some jewelry to wear and maybe some money for a movie at the theater that still worked. the jewelry was all very gaudy, and i didn't like it very much.
then we were being herded into a coliseum of some sort. it was very broken. concrete. was a stadium, but also had some sort of ancient look to it. the man walked up to me with his entourage and said something to me. i pretended to not know who he was because most people had never seen his face. most people did not know who he was when they saw him. he told me he was The One Who Had Come, and i laughed and said i didn't believe him. i said something else, and i was taken to be hanged. they thought i was part of the underground rebel group.
when they took me to be hanged, i was scared. there were to be four of us that day. i saw my mother in the crowd and was scared for her. i saw my friends and was scared. i saw him just as they were sliding the rope over my head, and i broke free and knelt at his feet. i said to please forgive me, that i did not know. i said i just thought he was some boy hitting on me and trying to be impressive. that other boys had done the same. i looked up at him, and we made eye contact. something passed behind his eyes, and i wasn't sure what it was. i knew i should have to think on it, and i knew he wasn't going to kill me at that moment. his second in command questioned me on whether i was in the underground rebel group, and i said i wasn't. i knew he didn't believe me, but the man just kept looking at me.
he let me go, and i went up into the stadium with my friends and my mom. there was a small calico kitten. i picked her up, and held her. i put her down again to fill out some sort of forms we had to fill out. who we were, what we did. i said i was some kind of refiner but that i had wanted to be a nurse.
a quake started, and we all started rushing out of the stadium. the wind picked up, too, and i lost the kitten. i somehow knew that something was going to happen at 55 feet up. we were higher than that, and i said we had to get below that quickly. i dragged my mother and one of my friends by their arms as we were running down. we got to the bottom, and ran around the concrete overhang outside. i said that we would be safe there. it was raining something that wasn't as safe as water outside, but i don't know what it was. he was out there, too, with his entourage.
there was a small bullet train. just one car. it sped up to the coliseum and stopped. some people got into it, and then he looked at me and told me to get in. i wanted my mom to come with me. she didn't want to come. i looked at him, and something passed behind his eyes again. he asked me if i was sure i wanted her to come. i asked him if she would be safer here, and he said yes. he looked to the side a bit and down, and i followed his gaze. there was the kitten. i let go of my mom's hand, picked up the kitten, and got into the train thing. i was scared and sad to leave her behind. i hoped she would be okay. there were some other people in the train that i didn't know. the ceiling was low where i was, and i was afraid i was going to hit my head.
then my dreaming self looked outside of the train. i had to know what was going on, and if i was being sent to die. if he knew that i had worked against him. he was talking to his entourage. his second was telling him that i was part of the underground. that i had fought against them, and that i was smart. that i had fought well. he said that i needed to be hung and asked why he was instead sending me on the train. he said he knew. he said that i was part of the prophecy. his second asked if he thought i was the one that was an enemy but would be his love, and he said yes. then he looked at where my dreaming self was, and his eyes twinkled a bit. he smiled, puckered his lips, and blew some air at me.
i woke up feeling very cold for a minute. then my body realized that it was actually really warm in my room.
7.30.2003
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